Down the 'Song' lane

Yesterday evening when I wanted to tune into some relaxing melodies but not from any recent albums, I switched on to Sonu Nigam's 'Deewana'. Flash! I was at the roof top of my hostel, at my college. A group of girls basking in sun, the atmosphere cooled by the mountain winds of Northern India, busy solving tutorials and of course teasing, gossiping, enjoying - life at its best. That album does that to me every time. I remember my friend used to play it quite so often when we were perched on that roof top.

Come to think of it, there are so many such songs....

'Mujhe rang de, muje rang de'...the first time I danced solo in a midnight birthday celebration at our hostel and how my senior mams screamed and shouted!

'Raghupati raghav raja Ram'.....the bhajan I sang as a bride who just arrived at her in laws place.

'Pairon mein bandhan hai'....our engineering girl batch's group performance at the college annual function.

'Dil tou pagal hai, Dil deewana hai'...played hundreds of time on our first cassette player at home. I think we siblings were nearing high school completion and that was the only cassette in our collection due to lack of funds for some time.

How a life long of memories can come alive with few songs? Just recently one of my friend had written in her blog that a perfume's smell reminds her of an instance in her life. Songs do that for me.  A remembrance of past, of lost friendships, some joys, all keep sakes of a life time . They take me back to those memory lanes and infuse freshness into my present.

And this song that my friend sang at a college function literally does take me back to some memory lanes....She has a heavenly voice and I recall how she started singing that hot summer day and there was such a silence in the background, as everybody just resigned their senses to the pitches of her voice...

Yahi vo jagah hai, yahi vo fizayein, yahin per kabhi aap humsey miley the...'
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZjndWtoVQ0)

Mother's Day

Mother's day is on us today. First let me thank my mother for everything she did and does for us even today. She took care of 3 kids in her time and I think she deserves a medal of some kind!

Now if I think about my motherhood.... I'm really very grateful for my daughter. But since the day she arrived in my womb, it has all been about her...Those doctor visits...reading endless food charts, net-browsing to make sure there is enough calcium, iron, omega-3s and what nots in my diet. And all I wanted to do for the first 5 months of pregnancy was puke. It was only the beginning...

After what seemed a lot of time, came the day of delivery. The result of my hard-work for the last 9 months was going to be out, literally. I'll always remember that night when I twisted, groaned and suffered in pain. Come morning, continued the pain...and I bore it all for a normal delivery until the last minute when the Gyno came and said they'll operate. My heart was very heavy, and that was as close to a heart attack that I have ever been in my life. Seriously!

Our daughter departed from me but she left some wounds that took time to heal. The first 2-3 days were so helpless, being unable to move, feel part of your own body and those weird hormones. Then came a bad phase for the next 3 months were everybody including me was convinced she is a little under weight. So I nursed every now and then. The one thing I terribly missed was my night's sleep or even 3-4 hrs of continuous sleep. I just wanted someone to take her away for some time and I would promise to shower so much love when she is back. That didn't happen. I'm very sure I did not get a straight night sleep for the next 6-7 months.

Time Flies. She turned 3 this year. The journey so far as been mind-boggling: from refusing to eat to resistant to potty training, from teaching her manners, to handling her temper tantrums...and spitting, biting, head banging...our daughter has thrown everything on our way. Thankfully there is Google and so many forums. It can be a relief to see other parents going through similar or worse.

But there is something about 'Motherhood', isn't it? The first time I got my hands on that ultrasound picture, it was the proudest feeling of my life. I understood why mothers would be compared to God, for we can create life. I'll never forget the moment when the Gyno was ready to take her out of me, and how I closed my eyes and wished she has all 10 fingers and 10 toes. And then she appeared with her wide open eyes, my angel. Today she can cry furiously for more then an hour, but once it's all over I still want to slide her in my arms and absorb her sobs.

So being a mother is an ongoing journey of highs and lows. It's a discovery of our own selves, patience, persistence and love. My message to all the wonderful mothers - "When Life throws Kids at us fellow Women, we make a Motherhood out of it!"

Why(s)??? of a 3 year Old

Why moon is half today? Did some body take a bite?

(While painting) Why mixing colors produce another color? Where did the original color go?

(Looking at a magazine) Why the kids in this photo have different colored hair? Why their skin color is different ?

Why there are three wings in the ceiling fan and not two or four?

Why pigs do oink oink and a sheep does ba-ba?

(Looking at a story book) Why clouds are colored as blue in this book though they are white in color in sky?

Why do you go to office every day?

Why do you have a sad face on? Can you make a happy face?

Why grapes are red, blue and black but strawberries always red?

Power Cut

Snap! We were settling down to have dinner and the power went out. We didn't have a power backup in our rented apartment. This was the first power cut after we had returned from US and settled in Pune. And so we vented out our thoughts on the status of electricity in India which by the way is really in a good shape in Pune compared to the other states like UP, Bihar etc. It is mostly 24/7 in the area we live with really occasional outages.

With time I have learned to appreciate the perks of these power cuts.

For when else in our multi-storeyed lives, we so freely open our apartment doors for ventilation and find the neighbor's door open as well? When there is a power cut and no backup power available in the apartment, that's an ideal time for people to get out of their shells...chat, sync up and share.

During a power cut after dark, as a family we cuddle around a source of light usually a candle or emergency torches and disengage our lives out of Wi-fi, TV etc.

If you have a toddler around, it can be fun making shadow birds, dogs etc out of your palm, and watch them explore playing with their shadows. And even if no birthday is around, blowing candle when power is back is always entertaining for a toddler.

More often the not, an extended power backup brings back memories for me of the bygone days of childhood when the families of that time ate, slept and just chatted endlessly on the rooftops during power outages after dark. The smell of flowers mixed with the night-time breeze, the cold conditioned air, spotting the constellations in the star studded sky and just dozing off...

Power cuts can be frustrating on a hot summer day and specially if they continue on and on unannounced...but they can have a brighter side too, as I have discovered.

Lost in Translation

"Yen idhayam udaithaai norungavey, en maruidhayam tharuven nee udaikave"...

So you don't know Tamil, then you won't understand what these words really mean. Try the Hindi translation...

"Dil hotey jo, merey seeney me do, doosra dil bhi mein, tumhe deta todney ko"..

These lines are from a popular song aka Hosanna...The first time I heard this song, it was in Tamil. I was captivated by the melody. Another superb track by Rahman. I was equally disappointed though as I had remotely no idea what the words meant. The movie was remade in Hindi. But I'm sure something got lost in the translation. And that's what I keep hearing when I hear about a nice movie from one language translated to another. Why is translation not perfect?

The other day at work (Pune), there were 2 guys from computer maintenance in my cubicle helping out with a network connection set-up. Our team had just moved to a new floor and there were quite a few logistics that needed to be sorted out. They conversed in Marathi for few minutes and I was standing there with a loss of understanding. Finally they made a move and a frustrated 'me' requested bluntly, 'Translate please'. One of them replied, 'No worries, this can be fixed'. This was not a translation, but I know from where they were coming from. He provided me the answer I wanted to hear but I would have still preferred to go back in time and know the details!

Having spent the last few years in US, I have been in company of friends from different states of India who spoke distinct languages - Tamil, Telugu, Marathi, Kannada, Gujarati etc. In any social gathering we would rely on English as the medium of general communication. But folks would often naturally switch to their mother tongue making it impossible for the ignorant ones to understand. Even when the speaker realized the lost look of others who didn't understand and quickly translated it, the words often lost their original effect, the original gag, the magic of the moment...

Why do we still have so many regional languages in India? Why do we have so many across the globe? It's rhetorical. I do understand the historical, cultural and social significance. I understand the beauty of diversity and magnificence of ancestry. It is unreasonable on my part to question. But it is such a helpless condition. I think overcoming the language barrier is one of the most critical issues of our time. Aren't we all in our own ways trying to find solutions to meet our needs in order to live, work, travel or operate abroad? Thankfully English is understood and spoken widely but there are so many exceptions.

That is why a recent email at work from HR caught my attention. It was titled - 'Do you want to learn French?'. It made me think that probably some day I might go to France and knowing French will help me. But I wish the mail read 'Do you want to learn Marathi?'. Now that would be so helpful in the day to day interactions of the city I'm living in. Sure I can opt for some after office classes but having this provision in office campus would make it so much easier.

Coming back to translation, I know it will never be perfect, because it just cannot be. Words have the heart and soul of a person. It has one's understanding, which is bound to differ when translated. But how I wish there were just a few languages to know. There won't be anything to get lost in translation then!

Diwali ki Safai

 It is not the right time of the year to talk about Diwali. But a recent conversation with a friend brought back some memories.

 It was the month of October last year and Diwali was around the corner. I associate Diwali with lots of light, colorful rangolis, some firecrackers and tons of sweets. But being in India after so many years, I was soon to realize another important aspect. How conveniently I had sidelined it during all these years of my stay in US? It's ceremoniously called 'Diwali ki Safai'.

 My Bai first mentioned it. One day she said she'll be late to work as another 'Didi'(the female member in charge of a household she works for) has asked her for 'Diwali ki Safai'. I sneered of how people find ways to keep themselves busy. I looked around my rented apartment. Things looked alright and I thought it didn't need more than 1-2 hrs of cleaning if at all. My thoughts then drifted to memories of childhood.

 I recalled how my mother felt really strongly about this Safai. While we as kids could just think of how many firecrackers we could negotiate for ourselves for Diwali, my mother's agenda included 'Safai' i.e. to clean every nook and corner of the house. "This real cleaning of houses happens only once a year during Diwali", she argued. Weekends near Diwali involved climbing to attic to organize and clean, or wash all silver, copper and brass vessels or dusting at those witty corners of house which were ignored all year along. These were some of the tasks that we as kids could never appreciate.

 Now as I absorbed these memories and looked around my apartment again, I noticed things which I had not done before. The spots in the balcony glass pane, the mesh of wire under the TV table, the old newspapers lined in the kitchen shelves....sigh! Few days passed and by the time I could make up my mind, it looked like I was running out of time. A week from Diwali my cook casually inquired, "Bhabhi Diwali ki Safai nahi karva rahi hain?". I could see him glancing at the greased spots around the exhaust fan in kitchen. That grease blended nicely with the grey metallic color of the exhaust fan all this time, but seemed to stand out for some reason at that moment. I told my cook that it's planned for the weekend. It was actually not.

 I did not have my Bai's approval. Due to her busy schedule it couldn't happen that weekend. I could really feel the pressure now. People were talking about it in office buses, on lunch tables and in social gatherings. Diwali was just one weekend away. I finally got a slot from Bai. I remember that weekend where like a crazy person I had started a tsunami in my kitchen from 6 am in the morning. It is very easy to get tired in all the anticipation when you start cleaning from one end and the other end is not visibile anywhere. Every person in the house was cleaning something or the other that day. Finally after 6-7 hrs of 5 adults cleaning the house, we stopped. We could have continued on as I have learned over time that household tasks are open ended. But we stopped. The entire floor was water sprayed as the last step. As we settled down in sofas and looked around, I had the 'after the storm' kind of feeling. I don't know if it was the coolness of water or the relief that it's over, but everything appeared really calm and clean. I had done my share of Diwali ki Safai!

Making of "The Castle Cake"

When Riya turned 3 in Jan, out of the several things I had fantasized coming true was a 'Castle Cake' for her Birthday Party. It is not important of how and where this idea settle in my mind:-) but I really loved the idea of a Castle Cake.

But how to do you get a 'Castle Cake' made in Pune, India? The first round of visit to bakeries revealed that 'Castle Cake' is not on the menu of the cake makers. And what's on the menu, stays on the delivery. I hoped that I would be able to convince them to adjust, find alternatives, be creative and deliver. The first easy step was to download pictures of castle cakes from google and put them in a folder in my desktop. Most of the pics from Internet that I was drooling over, were from outside India. I obviously skipped the cakes with fancy fondue art work and the ones that used ready-made castle structures. After many rejections, there was one shop which indicated that they have a new pastry Chef coming over soon. It should be doable. I was hopeful.

It was nearing the end of Dec'12 and Riya's birthday was to be there in 2 week's time. So I went to that shop again. Somewhere in my mind I had that image of explaining my 'Castle Cake' to a Chef like in 'Cake Boss'. But it turned out that my Cake Chef was a 'Kareem Bhai', a normal Indian worker who if I met in a street could be a Rickshaw driver, a Street Vendor or just someone who can be anything but could not be a 'Cake Chef'! But somehow 'Kareem Bhai' gave signs of understanding the cake better than any of the folks I had talked to earlier behind the cash counter (the shop owners). We explained him how he could make the pillars. How to put the ice-cream cones at the roof-top and how to decorate the flower vines...and windows... He said that he'll be able to make the cake. He has been making cakes for the last 6 years. We just needed to choose the frosting and filling.

The day before the birthday we went to finalize the order. The shop owner assured that the cake would be made that night and would be ready for the pick up at 11 am for the afternoon birthday party. So the next day we reached there at 11:30 am and...Kareem Bhai and his helpers were putting the first layer of cream on the round base!! Could they be more late? I didn't know how to react. At that point it was like, ok just give me any cake. We went to the birthday venue for other preparations to come and pick the cake later.

The cake did not arrive till 1 pm. We were waiting till the very last minute for Sandeep and my brother to arrive with the cake. I think they spent almost 45 minutes in front of the 'Chef' while he was making the cake. As everybody around was gasping at how beautiful the cake is, I hardly got a minute to admire or look at it. All I have left now is 3 pictures of the 'Castle Cake', not more, not less, three.

It looked nice though.

Riya Turns 3!

You are just 3 now. I wonder why it feels like 13. 

You already have clear choices and sharp deductions.
"Water in the red bottle, not the yellow one."
"Why am I not wearing bangles like you today."
"I don't want to wear this collar T-shirt, as boys wear that, not girls".

If you make up your mind, no one can have you say sorry. You can carry on your crying tantrum for what feels like ages without giving up a bit. Yeah I'm talking about the one where you are all red faced, tear drenched, sobbing like a silly girl. And I'm biting my nails asking what have I done to deserve this.

You can negotiate and you are really good at it.
Mommy give me one M&M, you say. 
Take a bite of banana first, I say. 
Nooo - give me 3 M&M then. 
If you want 3 M&M, you need to finish your whole Banana first. 
Ok, I need the whole packet then!
And you leave me open mouthed.

You know what's pretty and what's not (Yes, Yes, Blame me on this one!). So obviously we put a matching 'bindi' with our dresses. And 'Riya' has to wear a dress to any party, not top and leggings. A big shocker recently was on the Christmas day. There was a party for kids in the society downstairs. I had you wear a frock and having just returned from office, had no plans to deck up myself. I planned to show up wearing jeans. "Mom, why are you not ready yet?", you came up to me and questioned as a matter of fact. "Come, let me select a dress for you!!!!". To this day, I can't believe you actually said that.

But that's not all the reasons why I call you a 13 year old. You have even got a boy-friend - "Ojus".
"Ojus-this", "Ojus-that"...I don't think I have seen you happier in recent times. I remember the first time you came from day care and mentioned about 'Ojus'. You said he is your best friend and you went on saying how he was naughty, how he threw soil on your head, how he climbs the wall etc etc. Then one day you told us that he is not your friend anymore. We asked Why. You said he spilled some girl's water and teacher has instructed not to be friends with him. You were sad. The next day you came back saying he is your friend again. When asked how, it was because he did not repeat that water spilling again. Naturally you forgave.

You do all this and at the same time you can be as silent and peaceful as a dove. You can be as gentle a breeze that ever blew. As fragrant a rose that ever bloomed. As pretty a little fairy that ever came down upon this earth. You can smile and giggle, laugh and smile again....You amaze us with your wittiness. You can be so easily convinced sometimes. But most of the time you are argumentative as a lawyer and so inquisitive that it feels Newtonish.  

But all said and done, there is absolutely no better feeling in this world then to put my arms around you and feel blessed. For I know this is a journey and you continue to make the sweetest of memories to be locked up in a treasure chest.

Happy 3rd Birthday Riya!