Out of Drafts....

Sometimes things take time. They need space to stretch out their shapes...like these write-ups below which have been lying in my drafts for a long long time. The rest of the family is out for a trip today and I get to bring these out...

Like this one about my Sabbatical (Jul'11 - Apr'12), when I was a full time Mom...

Life was so giggle-full and smile-drenched! The perks came in the form of uncountable hugs and kisses from my then 1 year old. The ten things I absolutely loved about the sabbatical:
1. Cozy-lazy-snuggling up in bed whenever/forever
2. No bidding good byes to Riya in the morning for her caretaker's home
3. Blowing bubbles in the afternoon sun, tapping, touching, running after them with Riya
4. Going for a stroll anytime when the nature looks just right
5. Watching a rom-com on a beautiful Oregon summer daylight
6. Making pancakes for breakfast with all the time in the world
7. Watching Elmo, Barney, Clifford and all other PBS Kids with Riya
8. No after dinner offshore calls, no weekend wash outs due to work
9. Tea parties/Noon potlucks/Night stays with girl friends
10. Shopping to my heart's content...life at it's very best!

The time was just after New year 2012, on a road trip in Northern India...

I have just returned from USA. We are visiting relatives in a remote town in UP, India and are going by car to Gorakhpur.The Tavera makes its way on the terribly broken roads bumping badly every now and then. We are at the mercy of the skills of the driver and time seems to be at no hurry...

There is a big cow sleeping right on the middle of the road. She is oblivious to all the loud rush and dangers around her. It is morning time and all the nuances of life are at progress. Our car passes by a group of village women with long 'ghoonghats' on their face. They have enormous loads of hay stacked on their heads. The view outside is either dusty or foggy or both. I can't tell. Every object visible seems dust-laden...

We drive past a bunch of trees. Few village children are gathered around with sticks in their hands, trying to drop some fruits. There are men doing their morning routines right there on the road side. Few others are bathing. I try to avoid looking and stop thinking...

There is a dead animal lying in the roadside. I cannot make out exactly but it could be the remains of a cow. There are stray dogs feeding around it. After some time we come across a car in wrecked condition parked in the road side. The driver informs that it was in accident few days ago. Why it's still lying there as an antique, is out of my understanding and so is everything else...


And what I thought and felt about X-NRIsm after being in US for 6 years...

It is a transitional state of mind, heart or other parts of body where a person is trying to become an Indian again. This condition might spin out when an Indian residing in a 'developed' country departs and comes back to India for good or bad. Symptoms are: 'frequent irritation', 'frustration' and 'anger' at the population, noise, air, water or other kinds of pollution. Frequently followed by cursing and blaming the Indian politics, media and/or society in general. There is no immediate cure. Impacts vary from person to person. Sharing thoughts (or frustration) with other victims can provide relief in some cases. As of 2012, US administration is trying to restrict H1-B VISAs drastically which is expected to hit at the root cause of the problem and reduce this disease effectively. 
And these are top 3 FAQs that X-NRIs have to deal with:

1. So how are you fe-e-l-ling now that you are back? Are you able to ad-d-j-just here?

2. Umm, Why did you come back to India?

3. So, are you planning to go back to US or stay here?

Duh!
 

Sun - A Morning's View

                   It's early morning and time for tea,

                   As I walk to my kitchen I look back and see,

                   The view from my east facing balcony,

                   There is the 'red' Sun looking at me.

                   It stands above the mesh of buildings

                   The concrete jungle of bricks and wall,

                   For now I'm with the 'orange' Sun,

                   But soon I'll be a busy lost soul.

                   It rises, spreads, brightens, touches...

                   Its blazing now and getting sore,

                   The 'yellow' Sun goes out of my reach

                   And I can't look at it any more.

Working Saturday - through the eyes of an angry employee

Going to work on a Saturday? Yikes! That too for a recruitment drive.  What can be worse?

Well getting up previous night at 1 am due to nasal congestion and feeling feverish and then not being able to sleep for next 2 hrs and then being woken up by a toddler crying for milk. How about that?

Why do IT companies do this to their employees? First you don't pay us right(compared to market average), then you expect us to spend 9.15 hrs in office even when we are on bench and worst of all you call us for a recruitment drive to convince/evaluate other people to get employed in this company? Where is the motivation dude?and then you don't even assure us that we'll get a day off for a working Saturday!

Well right now I so hate waiting for the company bus to take me to office. Why would I waste my gas for this stupid-unwanted- forced auto nominated exercise? And this is what I can do to you in return. At the least! My anger in words.  Enjoy! 

I feel a little better. 

Feeling Independence

15th Aug, 2012

Isn't it after a good 6-7 yrs that I stand next to a tricolor flag on Independence day? I ask myself.

It's time for the flag hoisting in our society. The blue sky has nicely patterned itself with the bright white clouds. The rains have taken a break from their monsoon routine. The folks are gathering in the amphitheater for the ceremony. It is very refreshing to see people coming out dressed in white, saffron, green and blending together as one. The kids are running around and making sure everybody has a tricolor sticker to display.

It's 9:30 am. The society guards stand in front of the pillar. Their leader gives a shout for attention and we all stand up. The chairman performs the hoisting. The wrapped up flowers make their way out in the open, tagging along with the winds to unknown destinations. The gallant 'Jana-Gana- Mana' pitches high. The flag stretches freely embracing the winds. I realize it's splendor.

For the past many years I was in US. Living today in India, I'm not shy to negotiate with the vendors wondering how they might judge me. I don't have to avoid strange stares if I dress up all ethnic and walk out in a mall. I can indulge endlessly in the mouthwatering street foods. I don't fear violating some rules if I park my car in a street for some emergency pick-up. I enjoy the spirit of people riding their bikes and getting drenched in monsoons again and again. I can feel the freedom of thoughts, of actions and of spirit. I understand why I felt like an alien all these years.

There are still many challenges, many let downs that plague our country today. Traffic. Pollution. Electricity cut-outs...

My drift of thought ends as my daughter pokes my leg. She wants to be picked up to get a better view of the flag. I realize she is trying to sync her lips to 'Jai Hai, Jai Hai'...I show her how to salute the flag. The national anthem ends but it's resonance leaves our hearts delighted, proud and peaceful. This is how it feels to be in familiarity, to be in one's motherland.

I can feel Independence after a long time. It is one of the best feelings in a lifetime!

The first day of 'cool'

Dear Sunshine,

Your first day of school (or 'cool' as you often call it) was on us. I had accompanied and stayed with you at school twice before to make you comfortable in the new surroundings. You seemed to like the teachers and took things quite nicely on those two days. Kids cried all around but you stayed calm. But today was going to be the first day when you would actually spend time there without me for a complete one hour!

I was confident you would do well. Your grandma and I left you in the arms of the teacher and waited outside. That was the difficult part. A lot of anxious parents who had left their kids for the first time had gathered there. There was non-stop heart-wrenching crying noise coming from inside the classroom. There was an equally loud noise outside where the worried parents described their concern. I told your grandma that you would do fine. After all its just one hour and it would pass off quickly.

As I stood outside, I tried to make out your crying voice from rest of the kids. It was impossible. I convinced myself that it must be because you are not crying at all. Somehow an hour passed by and the teacher announced that she would now bring out the kids one by one. But I was not ready for what happened next. You were the first one out and crying at the top of your voice. Actually you were in middle of a big scary crying tantrum. What that means is that you just don't listen to a word being spoken to, you are not ready to be held, and you just tap your feet on the ground and go crazy. 

I had seen you before like that but the other parents were so concerned. They offloaded many advices and I just tried to make my way to you, so that you can calm down. But you were unstoppable. You continued crying for the next 15-20 minutes. It was difficult to hold you, talk to you and comfort you. Then grandma came to our rescue and took you to a shop. Bribe - the ultimate savior that is! As you got your hands on a packet of 'Cadbury Gems', you slowly came back to being normal. You whispered that you have been a bad girl and that you cried at school. Between hugs and kisses, we tried to comfort you that everything is alright and it doesn't matter. But in my mind, I was already worried about what will happen tomorrow. Will you repeat all this again?

For the rest of the day we ignored this mishap. But you seemed to remember it very well and repeated that you've cried at school. We decided to skip school for a day to give you some more time. A day after that we took you to school again. Your teacher mentioned the most unexpected thing. She said that you were the only one kid who had not cried on the first day of school!. It was only towards the very end of that hour that you were probably overwhelmed with all the cries around you and joined the group. The teaches were looking for you yesterday to meet the girl who had not cried! What I felt after hearing those words is not easy to describe. I was just very thankful and proud.

So it was that cool, your first day of school!

Love,
Mom

Mummy, Riya ab badi ho gayi hai!

It seems like yesterday when she was many months younger, this innocent infant playing in our arms. I don't know when time just crept on us and she turned into this grown up girl, a terrible-two toddler, a chatter-box of endless questions, a graceful observer of things, a mind blowing conclusion drawer, a mocker, a teaser and so much more. Here are some hot and sour delicacies of my sweet heart...

We are going out, and I make her sit to put on her shoes.

"Nahi Mummy, Riya khud se shoes pehanegi".
Ok, have it your way.
"Riya ab badi ho gayi hai", she adds firmly with a no nonsense expression.

I'm working on my laptop. She comes to me and watches for some time. Tries to distract me. I ignore her.
"Mummy Riya ko laptop per kuch likhna hai".
Why???
"Riya ab badi ho gayi hai, isliye usey bhi laptop per likhna hai".
Huh???

Her dad comes over from office and barely sat on the sofa. A happy Riya walks over and demands.
"Papa, Riya ke saath play karo. Mummy ne kaha hai ki Papa play karengey".
A tired Dad asks her when did Mom say that.
"Mummy ne kaha...Rain Rain go away, Come again another day, Papa wants to play, Rain Rain go away...isliye Papa aap play karo".

Riya had sung this rhyme with me about an hr ago. Can things be inferred in this way? I had no idea:)

"Mummy Riya ko potty karao".
"Beta, Riya is a big girl now...Can you sit on your potty seat and do it yourself?".
"Nooo, Riya abhi thodi badi hai, aur thodi choti hai...Mummy aap hi potty karao", in comes the prompt reply.
Needless to say that her grown up status is quite flexible. She adjusts it all the time to get things going her way.

"Mummy ye kya hai?", she points at the sugar jar.
"This is sugar", I tell her.
"Nooo, ye cheeni hai", she recalls from a probable earlier conversation.
"Oh! haan ye cheeni hai, but....".
"Ha ha, mummy ko nahi pata tha. Mummy cheeni ko sugar bol rahin thi. Mummy bhool jaati hai", she giggles and points at my mistake.
"Beta, we call it sugar and we also call it cheeni", I try to clarify what I think is best for a 2 year old.
She looks at me with suspicious eyes processing this information in her own way. Few secs later...
"Hum log isko fan be kahtey hain, aur pankha bhi kahtey hain". She points at the ceiling fan. Phew! I sigh with relief.
 

This has to be the best phase of parenting by all means. In front of me is a young learner, who challenges my authority, my explanations, my patience and my love in each and every conversation that we have. I think she makes me a better person every minute. And as she advances into these new milestones, I'm really excited for what's more to come. But sometimes I just want to say...

Riya, slow down, please don't grow up so fast!

My cup of Tea

Recently I met a gentleman in office who said he avoids drinking tea as much as possible. My first thought was probably he's one of those who have mastered in their prejudice against tea. You mention tea and they mention 'caffeine', 'acidity' etc etc. But then he added gently. "Jo Chai mujhe pasand hai, vo koi banata hi nahi hai yaar! His face was a reflection of sad disappointment. Being a tea lover myself, I knew what he meant.

Let's take a look around. Do I know 'X' who is really serious about putting a big chunk of ginger in tea? How about 'Y' whose secret of good tea is adding a special 'tea masala' to it?  Or 'Z' who knows just the right proportion of Water:Milk:Tea leaves:Sugar ratio that produces the same golden cup of tea every time? Tea making is a serious business for the passionate tea lovers. People customize tea recipes to suit their taste. And when the absolute perfect tea hits you, it is indeed an 'Aha' moment.

My cousin told me a tea story. He went to a friend's place for evening tea. His friend's wife added a special 'masala' to the tea. My cousin liked the taste and praised it a lot. Few days later when he had tea at that friend's place again, it was quite hard and almost impossible to drink it. Sensing his liking, his friend's wife had added extra 'tea masala' this time. The spices were just too much for him. He somehow drank it but tried to shy away from tea in his future visits. That didn't help much. He had to finally mention in a subtle way that he prefers moderate amount of tea masala. He just hopes he has not offended his friend's wife...

I've had my share of tea tantrums. My better half has conveniently established that he makes the worst tea in this world and I make the best. There are a lot of side effects. One of them is that I always have to get up first in the morning and make tea for us. This also means I never get to snuggle lazy and open my eyes to these magic words - "Honey, here is your bed tea". Duh!

Another tea incident took place this winter at my in-laws place. It is always tea time in Northern India in winter season. My father-in-law asked me one such day - "Beta, eik cup badia chai pilao". I made the type of tea that he likes or so I thought. I hung around in the shadows waiting for any compliments. He is always very generous. But he didn't say anything. This happened a couple of times. I would make tea, he would drink it but no comments. I was down with cold one day and my husband offered to make tea for me. He served a cup to his dad as well. Dad took a sip. "Badia chai hai!", he said with pleasure. His face was happy and satisfied. A zillion universe exploded in my head and that was it. My moment of truth. I'm not going to be the 'bahu' whose tea is liked by her father-in-law. 

Well that's how it is. Some like it hot and some not. We think we make good tea and then we meet tea-enthusiastics who inspire us to make it even better. We think tea-making is a jiffy and then in most hurried of situations we end up adding salt instead of sugar to our teas. Remember that best tea stall in college? That gossip time with girlfriends? Consoling a friend over tea? A Proposal? If your mind wants to wander to its favorite tea story, then let it be. After all, it's not just a cup of tea. As some would say, 'It's a part of me'.

Ek Mithi Baat

"Make Life an Occasion".
"The Life you have dreamt of is available now".
"I, Me, My Dynasty".
"Seize the moment, add glory to your Life".
"A Wife always dreams to live like a queen".
"Come over, experience the joy of fulfillment"....

Wondering what these attractive tag lines are for? It takes a 5 minutes drive into the streets of Pune for the mystery to resolve. Real estate advertising at it's persuasive best! Gigantic hoardings rising above the streets and corners form the backdrop of Pune today. The 'assurances' these construction companies provide are mouth-watering, mind-blowing and soul-agitating. No matter in which part of the city you are in, you can surely not miss this fiesta of real estate.

What's wrong with it? So much. There are few people who really have the money to afford these homes. But the majority are those who continue to dream about that 'dream home'. Real estate is an every day topic for the young IT crowd of Pune. And how can it not be? They are the hot targets of these construction companies. All routes to the IT parks are just flooded with these frames of advertising.

Not going into the extensive details of 'how greedy builder's are manipulating real estate market' or 'how people are stretching their financial limits to buy these homes', as a 3 month old Puneite I just have the feeling that this is all wrong. Every time I see a huge hoarding blocking my view of something behind, it irks me. And sometimes when I see a lot of them in white paint marked 'Contact Shubham or Call Swapan', I really wish I could call Super man to strike a hole across them.

So this is for you - "Ek Mithi Baat, a dream home within reach", I know you are bluffing. It is not as easy as you have made it sound. I want my blue sky and horizons back.

Hibernation

It is more than a month now when we left our home in Portland and set out to relocate to India. The first month was planned to be spent with family before we could finally settle down in Pune. That vacation is about to end now. The time has come for me to make the move to Pune and I'm bamboozled!

Let me think. When was the last time I cared about the '14 letter' word 'res-pon-sibi-lity'? It is a big word and has a de-ee-p meaning. I'm sure most of the wives I know will agree. For me it meant to wake up first in the house (by the clock) and secretly envy the hubby dear in deep sleep (add sweet dreams and occasional snores). It meant having to convince myself that if I don't get up 'now' (after snoozing the alarm by 30 minutes), I would be responsible to see my day fall apart with a domino effect. It meant making the morning tea, planning and preparing the 3-4 meals of the day, laundry, dishes, baby, grocery....Ouch! just the thought of all that hurts.

The past one month spent with family has been such a lazy-lavish stretch. Oh look! here comes mom with my morning 'bed' tea. See this is was what I'm talking about. I need not say anymore. I have been spoiled. Every time I think about a daily chore, chances are that it has been already taken care by parents. I have been inactive. There is so much stuff that I wished to write about. What I have been feeling all this time? About settling down in India to a different and lesser comfortable life compared to US, or the sadly poor conditions of the villages that we passed through visiting a few places, or my new year resolutions or my daughter turning two. Every time my strong urge to type my thoughts was slashed out by my stronger desire to just snuggle inside the thick 'Rajais' and induldge in food, gossip or watching soap operas.

There are regrets I confess but its not worthwhile to reason with them. There is so much to look forward from next week - a new place, a new life and lots of 'responsibilities'. Also, I've come with an explanation for the past few days. Animals do it. Computers too. I was hibernating.